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by George! Group
because all ponds are little...
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:: Pregnant Over 35
:: Being the oldest mom on the playground
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Rosetta
Site Admin
Posts: 25
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Being the oldest mom on the playground
Posted on: 04/22/2008 06:12 PM
It is strange for me when we go to the park with my daughter and there are no women my age. I even met a GRANDMOTHER who was 5 years older than I was. What do you talk about? I am not too out of touch. I still watch MTV and I know who the new rappers are (Kinda). I mean I could sing more than the chorus of any of them but hey, I never could.
My daughter goes to Montessori and I was stunned to realize ALL the mothers except 1 was over 40. It really makes a difference discussing our careers and different child rearing techniques. "Do you use the Dolmann method?" "No, we prefer John Rosemond." That question draws totally blank stares from the low rise wearing Baby Phat clad mamas I meet on the playground. But I want to blend in there too. I should not have to explain that I had a normal pregnancy and no fertility drugs were needed.
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cinamin1
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Posts: 16
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Re: Being the oldest mom on the playground
Posted on: 04/30/2008 12:13 PM
Geez, a grandma older than you. OMG! Well, being the 'oldest' mom on the playground simply means that you have it going on :-D It's strange for you to be in the presence of these Baby Phat hot mamas, on the playground. But let me just say I feel strange being around women like that, and I'm 26. You can almost assume what kind of conversation these women are capable of having. I'm comfortable with knowing that I can't blend in all groups, all the time. But when you go to your daughter's school, the environment is completely different, which is a great thing.
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Rosetta
Site Admin
Posts: 25
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Re: Being the oldest mom on the playground
Posted on: 05/01/2008 11:53 AM
Cinnamin1 the conversations are truly bizarre. lol. Thank you for being the voice of reason. I should be grateful that I am even having a second child. I never thought I would. But there are still the looks and the comments about Down Syndrome. Who wants to hear about THAT while pregnant??? I just smile and say it's in God's hands.
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bumblebeekee
Site Admin
Posts: 8
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Re: Being the oldest mom on the playground
Posted on: 05/19/2008 03:42 PM
My first session for today was a woman of 41 with a newborn who was exclusively breastfeeding. I treat her the same as anyone else. I think being an older mom (than the average starting out) has many advantages:
1. Generally smarter....Most older moms with young children under 5 are comfortable with understanding research and the latest information on childrearing and pregnancy. They are usually in tuned to the latest techniques on this and that-that a 16-30 year old mom may not understand or be familiar with even exploring...and I say up to 30 because many of my clients are not educated past 10th grade.....even at that age.... This gap closes as education past high school, and even more so with college graduation and beyond.
2. More confidence...Now that you have a degree of a Bachelor's or better, you are at an age where you are confident in yourself and the time to consider ttc is real...So mentally, you have come to terms with this change....Plus as a woman of education, and more stability the confidence in yourself and in your body is greater. You also are more likely to filter out old-wives tales about pregnancy, breastfeeding (you are more likely to), and nutrition.....You wouldn't beleive how many people believe that a woman on her period should not hold or be around a newborn.....I had some 16 year old teenagers who swore it was true! Now who told them that!....
3. Financially/Mentally Secure....I used both because like I said, you have accepted and are ready to have a baby, so when it comes vs. in younger women, its not such a shock, but a welcome surprise...if you're not TTC but not doing anything to prevent it (like me). With your better job you have more money, and savings...Health Insurance, and probably a position that is more understanding of child care and the need to get adequate leave, or time/area to pump, etc, you are a little better off. The 16-30 thing once again is less so, if you are more educated, and have a good job....Did I mention Married! You have more support mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially!
4. And now for you Rosie...I know Montesseri is not cheap...I know you are paying "tuition" so its why many of the moms who bring their kids there are over 35-40...You can afford it! The moms there are also who I am talking about in items 1-3.....For People like Cinny and I, we are on our way. We may have our first before 35, but we MAy have our second after, and thats okay. At 27 I was hoping to have a year-old by now, and celebrating my 3 or 4th anniversary this year and not my first as I did in March...AND THATS FINE. I have accepted these things and I am comfortable with that. I still want to get my PhD in the next couple years, but I am open to having a baby before, or even during this time....So its all Good no matter what!
Enjoy the advantages of wisdom, security, and confidence:)
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Rosetta
Site Admin
Posts: 25
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Re: Being the oldest mom on the playground
Posted on: 06/14/2008 06:15 PM
I just love you guys! You mademy day Bumble. No. Montessori isn't cheap, but I just think that I could live without Jimmy Choos if I can hear my daughter play her violin and live a well educated and happy life. I make sacrifices for her being there and I think it's worth every penny. I hope I don't get Back TO EATING OODLES OF NOODLES, but she is really worth it.
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DaughterRhonda
Newbie
Posts: 6
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Re: Being the oldest mom on the playground
Posted on: 06/17/2008 02:44 PM
I know that being an older mom definitely has so many benefits. I had my daughter when I was 24. I must say that I made many sacrifices as I was quite young. (I was blessed to be able to send my daughter to Parochial school from elementary through high school). Being a woman in my forties, I am now established in my career and can give a child all of the wonderful things that I think a child deserves. I am definitely more wiser too. I don't know if I would have another child at this age, but if it does happen, I would welcome it with open arms. Kudo's to all of the mom's over 40!!!!
Edited by DaughterRhonda on 06/17/2008 02:46 PM
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Rosetta
Site Admin
Posts: 25
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Re: Being the oldest mom on the playground
Posted on: 06/17/2008 04:58 PM
yeaaaa Rhony!
I don't have any physical issues with having a baby now. I know things are better for my daughter because we waited. It has made my marriage very strong because we were just two blissfully happy people for so long and now we are three happy people.
Hubby doesn't like taking a backseat to baby however and cannot stand the coitus interruptus that is frighteningly frequent. That is a WHOLE OTHER TOPIC y'all. :)
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